Coffee Tables

I ran out of ideas of things to write about so I said to Jesse, "pick something for me to write about." He started being thoughtful and thinking of clever things, and I said, "just pick whatever comes to your mind, ready go." He picked coffee tables. Well, ok then. Here goes.

We have a coffee table. We have two actually, one for the upstairs and one for the downstairs.

When Aaron's awake, it serves as a buffer between him and our fireplace. He learned how to pull part of the cover off the fireplace, and he likes to try to do that because he knows I don't want him to. Sometimes I also like to turn the fireplace on in the early morning, and I don't want him touching it. When I turn it on, I'll pull the ottoman next to the coffee table, and then I can sit in front of the fireplace and also have a complete barrier. The problem is, is that Autumn thinks that once the fireplace is on, this is the only spot she can sit in our entire house. She will be sound asleep, and once I move that ottoman, she stands in front of me and just stares me down until I get up. I don't, and then I point to all 600 other places she could sit, but she can be pretty relentless. Usually she gets her way when I have to go chase Aaron around the house- I'll come back and she's sitting there, basking in the heat from the fireplace.

Our coffee table has some slots where you can put some things, like newspapers. We keep the Shopper there. And the Sunday paper that I signed up for so I could get a $10 Piggly Wiggly gift card and also to appease the nice and persistent man signing people up for the newspaper at the store. Aaron likes to take all of those papers out and then step on them and slide them around the floor. Sometimes he'll pick one up and shake it and squeal like he just discovered magic.

At night, we move the coffee table back to where it belongs, and we set our evening snacks on it. The usual snacks are black pepper Triscuts and hummus, chips and guacamole, some gouda for Jesse, one of those nature valley almond cracker/cookie things, or possibly a bag of chocolate chips.

Without our coffee table, there's a good chance I will set my class of water on the floor and Jesse will knock it over and exasperatedly say, "can you not put cups of water on the floor?"

This post proves that I can find things to say about most things. Try me.

Church Newsletters

I work a little bit at camp helping with the capital campaign. I do a lot of random research, like one project I had was researching what congregations had WELCA groups (women of the ELCA). So, I looked at a million websites trying to find information. Some congregations had loads of information on their site, and the most current info I could find came from their newsletters.

I've looked at hundreds of church newsletters. And here's the number one takeaway: Lutheran churches come up with some really interesting, as well as Minnesota interesting, newsletter names. Some are funny, some are ridiculous, some super date them, some are great at alliteration, some are coooorrnnnnyy, some aren't fancy and just call it "newsletter" or "news," some are connected somehow to a biblical image, and some are the same as all the other congregations.  Here's a list of Lutheran church newsletters that I found online:

Shepherd's Staff
The Good Word
Celebration
Echo
The Spirit
The Galilean
The Column
News & Views
The Messenger (I'd say about 1/8 of all the church newletters are named "Messenger")
The Advocate
Connect
News in the Pews (this one gets rhyming and being clever at the same time points)
The Light
Parish Visitor
St. Peter's Press
St. John's Journal
News & Notes
Parish News
The Voice
The Good News
The Parables
Monthly News
Spirit of Saint Andrew
New Vision News
Lifeline

Also, some of these are even more fun and/or more ridiculous and/or more clever and/or funny, because they're puns on their church name. Lifeline is one of those, it's from New Life Lutheran. That's thought out.

Alright, churchy/pastory/ministry leadery people, anyone think they have the best or most ridiculous or funniest or coolest newsletter name?


 

Today we went to the zoo.

We got a zoo pass for Christmas from my in-laws (BEST GIFT). It was pretty nice out this morning, and me and Aaron were free, so we went to the zoo.

Half way through the drive (it's like 45 mins away), I realized that I left the stroller at home. I wasn't about to turn around, and I wasn't about to rent one, so I can't really use my arms right now. Last time we went, Aaron wanted to walk a lot, so I hoped he'd want to walk a lot today too. He did, but he didn't want to walk the same direction as me. There was a lot to look at.

So, let me tell you about Aaron's favorite things at the zoo:

1. The recycling container that's shaped like a coke bottle. He said, "woooww" and "a-dis?" whenever he saw one (a-dis means, "what's this?"/can I see that thing?).

2. Very small rocks mixed in with dirt on the grassy part next to the sidewalk, that you aren't really supposed to walk on.

3. All of the grassy part next to the sidewalk, that you aren't really supposed to walk on.

4. The peacocks. He tried to pet one of them.

5. Some of the fish, others he stayed verrryyy close to me when he saw them.

6. Every now and then we'd see the metal lid to that leads to the sewer or a drain in the sidewalk, and we had to stop and see all of those.

7. A heater in one of the buildings.

8. The fake trees and the real trees.

9. The picture of the animal next to the actual animal we were supposed to be seeing.

10. Elk.

11. The booth that sold snacks like popcorn and cotton candy, but it's wasn't open.

12. Other kids. He also didn't like other kids. When they were loud and crowdy, he didn't like that so much. Other times he stared at them and tried to hang out with them. At one point, he just walked over to a mom and grabbed her leg. He didn't think it was me, I was right next to him.

13. Empty cages where the bears were supposed to be.

14. He also liked the camels.

It's Holy Week

It's Holy Week. And that means the following things:

1. My brain is out of creativity. I'm using 70% to think of something meaningful on Sunday, and Thursday, and Friday. And 20% on playing games with Aaron. And 5% on this blog. And I'm keeping 5% in case I need it for something else.

2. I'm pretty tired thinking about how tired I'm going to be.

3. But also I'm happy because it's one of my favorite weeks of the year and it's lovely and holy and one of the best parts of my job.

4. I'm running out of things to write about. The last three years that I've done this, I've made up a random list of post titles and then picked one each day. The only ones that are left are left for a reason. They aren't as funny as I thought they were or they will require a lot of time, creativity and thoughtfulness... and I'm just looking to not do that much today.

5. I'm kind of distracted because there are like 5 different sermons in my head. These aren't 5 sermons that I'm actually going to give, they are just 5 very different options for things I could talk about this weekend, and they are getting all kinds of confused in my head and also I'm not sure which one to pick.

6. This blog is coming to an end for the year and now I'm going to have to find some new things to do with my life.

If you have random topics you would like to see in the next 3 days, send them my way. :-)

Thank you cards

Our internet is tired and doesn’t want to work tonight, so I have to type this on my phone and use some data. And that means this will be pretty short.

Here are a few thoughts about thank you cards:

• I’m terrible at sending them. I still have some thank yous to send for our wedding. I found a stack of cards like two years later that I never sent because they were missing addresses and I couldn’t quite find the motivation to find them.
• I’m terrible at remembering to send them. I only ever think about it when I’m driving or at 3 am and neither are ideal card signing and mailing times.
• If I’ve already thanked you for something, I don’t think I need to send you a card with the same words in it. Likewise, if you thanked me for something, you really don’t need to send me a card.
• I’m sorry to everyone who likes thank you cards and is still waiting for one from me. I promise I’m thankful. If it makes you feel better, there’s a good chance your card is in a stack in the closet and I just haven’t sent it yet. (I’m probably not going to send it if I find it though).

THANK YOU!!

Would You Rather?

I'm going to play "Would You Rather?" with all of you. Here are some questions I found online. What would you pick?


Would you rather always be 10 minutes late or always be 20 minutes early?
10 minutes late, always. I AM always 10 minutes late, because I never want to get some place early, and I can’t quite seem to get the perfectly on-time thing right.

Would you rather lose all of your money and valuables or all of the pictures you have ever taken?
Dude. I’m the most nostalgic person that has ever existed, I’d rather lose all of my money. But because I’m married and have a baby, I might change my mind for the sake of feeding all of us. But if it were just me, for sure I’d rather lose all the money.

Would you rather be able to see 10 minutes into your own future or 10 minutes into the future of anyone but yourself?
Mine. I think that could maybe be a helpful thing in a variety of situations, and I hate being left out… so the other option means I’m left out of future seeing all the time and that would make me a little melancholy.

Would you rather be famous when you are alive and forgotten when you die or unknown when you are alive but famous after you die?
Probably after I die, because I don’t really want to be famous. Although, I guess if I were just moderately famous, like every now and then somebody’s heard of me, then now would be fun. But if we’re imagining the paparazzi at the grocery store, noooo thanks. Also, what do you think I’d be famous for? Below-average jokes? Karaoke? Preaching? Some kind of accidental new record in Guinness Book of World Records? BLOGGING DURING THE LITURGICAL SEASON OF LENT?

Would you rather go to jail for 4 years for something you didn’t do or get away with something horrible you did but always live in fear of being caught?
I’d rather go to jail. If I did something horrible, it wouldn’t be the fear of getting caught that would get me, it would be the insane amount of guilt. 

Would you rather your shirts be always two sizes too big or one size too small?
The flowy look is in right now, so two sizes too big.

Would you rather live in the wilderness far from civilization or live on the streets of a city as a homeless person?
How cold is the city?

Would you rather the general public think you are a horrible person but your family be very proud of you or your family think you are a horrible person but the general public be very proud of you?
Oh man. That’s tough. I care about what everyone thinks of me. But I like my family best and I want them to like me best, so I guess the general public can think I’m a horrible person.

Would you rather live your entire life in a virtual reality where all your wishes are granted or in the real world?
REAL WORLD. Wait, unless it’s the MTV show.

Would you rather be alone for the rest of your life or always be surrounded by annoying people?
For sure annoying people. Annoying people are so much better than no people.

Art and Languages

I love art. I can't really tell you anything about art, like I don't know all the famous artists or when things were created and I don't have any technical training in anything. The closest I ever got to an art class was an after school program I went to for a couple weeks in elementary school and one of those wine and painting nights (I went to that one as an adult). But I love art. I love to look at all the art. I love to imagine how people felt when they created something, or what they're trying to say. Art about bible stories is extra fun for me, because it's art combo biblical interpretation.   

I love learning languages. I know English okay. And while this blog may have you believe otherwise, I do know some basic grammar. I write like this on purpose, because I like it. I also know some small talk Spanglish and a little Ancient Greek. I took a Hebrew class, but I remember about 3-4 words and 5% of the characters of the alphabet, so it's safe to say that I don't know Hebrew. I really love learning languages though. I took Greek for two years in college and it was one of my fav classes. I took a free Spanish class last year, just for fun. I have a dream one day that I'll be fluent in Spanish. That's a far away dream, but hopefully I have 60-70 years of one days.

These are things I like. You know those days when you feel extra motivated to be a better person and live a more full life? I get one of those every January, the beginning of every spring, and when school starts back up (even though I haven't been in school for several years). For me, my imagination of living a more full life usually involves me being more creative or learning something, especially languages.

So, a cool thing. I learned about this practice called "star words" (not to be confused by star WARS). The idea is near epiphany (12 days after Christmas---hence the song the 12 days of Christmas--- we remember the magi/wisemen/3 kings/etc. followed a star to see the child, Jesus), you take different words like encouragement, direction, leadership, learning, helpfulness, etc. and put them on a pic of a star (you probably don't need to actually do that, but it also just seems right if you're going to call them star words), and then you randomly select a word for the year. It can be a lens for approaching the new year and a different way to be looking for God at work in your life during the year. So, we did that this year at Bethel. (Also, I've got like 100 words in my office if you want me to pick you one.)

Guess what I picked? "Art." And then later I realized that the word "Languages" was stuck to it. So, I took two. And, because of that, I've been trying to do more creative things and trying to learn Spanish again. I bought a Spanish workbook and it comes with a flashcard app. Yo se palabras sobre una casa y comida y ropa y mi familia. Por ejemplo, mis abuelos leen mi blog (?como se dice blog in espanol?) cada noche en su silla a su escritorio.

Right now this blog and making dinner have been my creative things. Turns out, I really like cooking and I'm kind of good at it. I don't always have time to try super creative meals. It's usally like one part of the meal is creative, and then the other part is like putting Costco orange chicken in the oven.

This post is kind of long today, so adios!       

HQ

Every night at around 8:02 and many afternoons at 2:02ish, Jesse and I play a live trivia game on our phones called HQ. Our friend Carly told us to download the app on New Year's Eve and then we all played together, and then Jesse and I played every day since.

It's like a game show. It's live. There's a host wearing fancy clothes. There are anywhere between 750,000- 2,000,000 people who play every night. There's prize money- it ranges from $5,000-$25,000. The way it works is you click on the app at the right time, the game starts, you have 10 seconds to answer each question of the 12 questiosn, and if you get all 12 questions right, you split the prize money. If you miss a question, you're out. EXCEPT if you have extra lives which you can get by having friends sign up. I've invited like 5 people and I have no extra lives (I don't have a life either- ha!), which means none of them signed up. Guys, come on. You could help me win. Because so far on my own, I've never won. I've never gotten past question 8. But one day! Maybe.

It is really a cool thing. I think it's the future of game shows. I imagine us telling Aaron one day, "back in our day, game shows were just on tv and you had to be chosen to be on the show." And he probably won't believe it, because he will always have been able to be a contestant on a game show from his phone. But, what do I know? I thought snapchat was going to die like two years ago.

Daniel Tiger

We watch a lot of Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood at our house. Everyday from 8:30- 9:30 am. It's the best. I watch it more than Aaron does. I'm not even really ashamed about that. Here's a list of reasons why I love it so much.

1. It's Mr. Rogers 2.0. I like that Aaron's watching a similar show to one I grew up watching. Daniel even puts on his sweater by the door at the beginning of every show.
2. The show's all about being a good neighbor. Like in a biblical way, like everyone is your neighbor and neighbors take care of each other.
3. There's a good life lesson in every episode, in a catchy one sentence song. Here are a few favorites:
1. See what it is, your might feel better
2. When you get so mad, that you want to roar, take a deep breath, and count to 4.
3. When a friend doesn't want to play with you, you can find something else to do.
4. Sharing with you is fun for me too.
5. When something seems bad, turn it around and find something good.
6. Stop, think, and choose
7. Find out what's different and what's the same
4. The good life lessons in every episode in a catchy one sentence song aren't just for kids. The "stop, think, and choose" one was about making choices/voting. That's all I'll say about that.
5. The characters that are human are racially diverse, and the rest are animals. :-) 
6. Families are diverse; they aren't all the nuclear family (although Daniel's family is)- O seems like he's being raised by his uncle, I can't quite tell if Miss Elaina's parents are together, and I don't think I've ever seen Catarina's dad.
7. Prince Wednesday is a royalty, and still goes to a public preschool. 
8. A tiger, an owl, and a cat all go to a public preschool with humans, and no one eats anyone.
9. All the adults on the show are really emotionally aware and non-reactive.
10. All of the kids respond well to reason and make positive changes after being gently corrected.
11. It makes me think that if Aaron watches this show everyday, he's going to be this perfect kid like Daniel.
12. ..or at least I'll learn some tips to be a better parent.
13. The theme song is really catchy and happy.

FOMO, but also just MO

FOMO= fear of missing out.

This is a common ailment for millennials. And I'm a millennial. And I have this ailment.

I really like where we live, but we left a lot of our people to move here, and I left a lot of my people before that when I moved away from California. Each of the moves that I've had in the last ten years have been because of my calling and/or Jesse's. Part of this gig is that if you believe that God is calling you somewhere, you have to go there. And "there" is not always where all your family and best friends live.

So, *sometimes* I get FOMO.

Who are we kidding, I always have FOMO. I have FOMO right now because Jesse said, "if you finish your blog quick, we can watch This is Us" and now I'm worried I will take too long to write this and then it will be too late and then I'll have to wait a whole day.

FOMO is easy to get because there are always fun things happening, and if you like fun things, it's easy to get nervous you're going to miss some of them. Sometimes there are like 3 different things that I want to go to at the same time, and I have been known to try to go to all of them...but then what actually happens is that I stop by two of them and accidentally miss one of them because I was overly ambitious and not actually capable of going to 3 parties/events at the same time... but it doesn't quite seem to stop from doing this again.  (Side note: I also have terrible time management. In seminary, I knew that I had to leave my house by 7:25 to get to class on time, and for some reason, every night I set my alarm for 7:15. I'm not the most high maintence person in the world, but also, when have I EVER gotten gotten ready for the day in 10 minutes? I was late pretty much every day of my last year of school.)

The thing about moving away is not actually FOMO, it's just MO. I know that my friends have birthdays and baby showers and get togethers, that I just can't get to. When you're far away, it's not just the fear of missing out, it's actually that you are missing out. That sounds sad. It kind of is. But also, life is a beautiful adventure! And for every move we've had, we've had the opportunity to do new things, meet new people, go new places, and find joy in the unfamiliar. That makes me feel brave. And I'd hate to miss out on a beautiful adventure, and new things and new people and new places.

In conclusion, no one have fun without me? Everyone move here? 

This Is Us is ready to go. Bye!

A perfect day by myself.

My sis asked me earlier what the perfect day by myself would be like (she had the day off and was pretty much having the perfect day by herself). So, I lived vicariously through her and imagined what my imaginary day by myself would be like. Side note, I don't even really like being by myself. Year and a half ago me wouldn't have enjoyed having the day by myself, but now life is one million percent different and I'm lucky if I get to do a luxurious thing like cook dinner alone, so a day that I get to do all the things that I want to do without feeling selfish about it would be so nice.

So, here's what my perfect alone day would be like:

I would have had the perfect night sleep- 10:30-6:30 and wouldn't need to sleep in. I'd stay in bed until 7 though and check my email and read the news and randomly scroll while considering getting up.

After I got ready for the day, I'd have a nice breakfast that included turkey bacon and a bagel with fake cream cheese and coffee with a mix of original creamer and peppermint mocha creamer. After reheating it for the 12th time, I'd put the rest of my coffee in a Contigo mug and leave.

I'd want to go to some place pretty to walk. Maybe a state park or a lake or both.

Then I'd want to get a haircut, because I haven't gotten a real haircut since October 2016 and my hair is super long.

Then I'd take myself to lunch. I've always wanted to eat at this bike shop/cafe by my house, so maybe I'd go there.

Then, I'd buy some things from Target that I don't need. Like a candle, some nice pens, nail polish and a shirt. Maybe a book too, like a YA one that doesn't make me think too much.

I'd go find some place pretty to sit, in front of a lake, maybe on a blanket in the grass, and read that book that I bought.

Then, I'd come home. If I wanted to take a nap, I might.

I might dig out some old pictures or old memories because nostalgia makes me happy, and so do people I love.

I'd pour a decent glass of wine and take out a bunch of crafts and make something, while watching a netflix show I'm only 45% interested in.

I assume it's near dinner now, so I'd put on a movie and eat a giant plate of nachos with some sparkly water.

Maybe another half glass of wine and some chocolate.

Then, I'd take a bath, paint my nails, and call it a day.

Myspace

But, remember Myspace?

I looovvveeed myspace in 2004. My friend Dana came to visit me in college and said that everyone was getting a myspace and I should too. I didn't really care about it, but she made me a profile and then I was obsessed with it for 2.75 years.

I spent a lot of time deliberating who would make it in my "top 8" and what song to have playing in the background of my page, and what theme it would be. You had to sort of learn code to do it- or you could go to websites that were dedicated to providing the right code that would give you a certain theme.

I regularly posted about- me surveys (like the one I made a post about a couple weeks ago) and joined one thousand groups. I also stalked all of the people I went to school with since elementary school.

Then facebook happened, and it sort of won out. But, I still have my myspace page. I check it once a year to laugh at myself.

I was about to put a link in to my page, but it says my email/password combo is wrong. I think it finally got deleted. RIP Myspace.

A dream I had last night.

Let me tell you about my dream last night.

I was at an event and so were The Property Brothers. 

I was eating some complementary appetizers and Jonathan and Drew were close by. I could hear Drew talking about his new home in Agoura (I watched an episode of his and his fiance's show about renovating their new home in CA, I don't think it's Agoura, but in my dream it was). My hometown is like a minute from Agoura, so I yelled out, "Oh! I'm from Thousand Oaks!"

I was definitely interrupting, but it seemed to be a cool enough connection at this random event that we were all at (presumably somewhere in the midwest), that they feigned interest and kept talking to me. We started talking about how expensive homes are in Southern CA and how tough it is for most people to buy a home. I agreed and said, with food in my mouth because I didn't want to miss an opportunity to keep this conversation going,"I know, my parents' haven't been able to buy a house since 1992." (Which is definitely a date that dream Kelli made up). 

Then we transitioned to Drew feeling a little homesick being in the LA area, but Jonathan reminded him, that the midwest weather really wasn't for him. I had some empathy and solidarity with Drew and told him "ya, I've basically been homesick for ten years straight." which is a super exaggeration, but also, it's not 100% not true either. Jonathan was a little taken back by my vulnerability and oversharing, that he gave me a tight smile that communicated to me: "I'm a little uncomfortable." I think Drew had more compassion though, because clearly he was also feeling that way.

Then, I saw them looking at each other, and they started to talk quietly to each other about something they could do for our family and my homesickness. They were about to offer building us a second home in California (because of course, what bigger gesture of goodwill and charity could you give, than offering a stranger who already has a house of their own, a second home in one of the most expensive real estate markets in the country because of homesickness? I can't think of anything either.) but before they could offer us this generous gift, Jesse brought Aaron in the room and let him snuggle with me and share my pillow, which was nice, but also I woke up. 

And in those 15 seconds of waking up, there was a little part of me that was mad at Jesse because had he waited just a couple minutes, we would have gotten a brand new house in Southern California.      

What if I didn't do this one thing?

Do you ever think younger you would be really surprised by future you? I do. If I told my 12 year old self that I was going to be a pastor and live in Wisconsin and own a real jacket and develop a slight accent and that a tornado would hit my house and I'd have a son and a husband and a dog and I could call people on a phone that could work outside of my house and I would literally be able to see people in it, I would never have believed you (I maybe wouldn't be *that* surprised that I had a husband, but I didn't want to leave Jesse out. I also don't think I'd be surprised that I'd have a jacket? I WOULD however, be surprised to find out that a zip-up sweatshirt is not actually a jacket.).

I think about all of these little and big decisions that have changed my life, and probably a million ways that I can't even know about. Here are a few that come to mind:

-Before you can be a pastor, they make you take a psychological evaluation. After my evaluation, the psychologist offered some advice/feedback. Since I was planning to go to seminary immediately after college, he suggested I take the year off and get some "life experience." I thought about it for about 12 seconds and decided that I wasn't going to take his advice and go to sem anyway. If I hadn't gone right away, I likely would have an entirely different group of people that I spent my time with, taken a different job- so no Living Waters & no Pastor Kathryn, wouldn't have met Jesse in time (he's quite a catch, I'm sure some other nice girl would have snatched him up), and so many other things because of that decision and subsequent decisions.

-Switching high schools in 9th grade. I didn't really like Westlake High, so I put myself on the waitlist at Thousand Oaks (but actually, my mom called and put me on the list). December of 2000 I started at TO. I met a bunch of different people, got to go to school with a lot of my church people, did a brave thing... and then both of my sisters went there.

-Signing up for the Pizza Luce dinner during orientation week at Luther Sem. Jesse and I both happened to sign up for the same dinner outing and that's how we met. He leaned over and saw me picking off the cheese off my pizza and said, "hey, are you going to eat that?" and then I handed him a wad of cheese. What if we didn't have that as our anecdotal "way we met" story? It would just be the actual one: our friend Heather told me that we should date.

-So many Lutheran events that I've been to and met different people and then because of meeting those different people met other people, and so on and so on. Here's one example: Jesse and I were at the Youth Ministry Extravaganza in Anaheim, and Don Marsh was there and friendly as ever. He flagged us down and said we should sit with him and the other people at his table (I had never met him before). We talked about this team that he was starting for the synod and I should be on it. I was, met a lovely group of colleagues and friends, and then got to lead the team a few years later. What if I didn't sit by him that one time?

There are about a million other examples, but I think you get the idea. Also, if you haven't seen the movie Sliding Doors, go see it. I think about that movie ALL THE TIME.   

-

  

SrLL

Some of my favorite years in my life were in high school with our church's "Senior Luther League"- SrLL. I spent like 70% of my time at church, and another 20% with my BFFs from church, and like 10% for eating, school, homework, sleep, etc.

Here are some favorite memories:

1. Monday night bible study: sitting on the floor of people's living rooms and singing camp songs with all of the ridiculous hand motions that no one asked us to do. 
2. Rafting in Montana and staring at the biggest, beautifulest sky and having deep talks, and gazing at our camp counselor, Mike, who I thought I actually had a chance with.
3. Building houses in Tijuana and painting our clothes as much as the house, and the hospitality and kindness of the future home owners. 
4. Wakeboarding and waterskiing (and NEVER TUBING because I hate it) in Lake Mojave and then getting to eat all night at the buffets in Laughlin.
5. Surprising people in Denny's and Denny's- like restaurants by singing the Johnny Appleseed prayer and other fun ones like that.
6. Making up the game called "No Shame" with my besties. It was like telephone, but gross and inappropriate and funny and sometimes mean. Instead of saying what you thought the person whispered in your ear, you had to say the first thing you thought of, and we were like 16, so..
7. Holden Evening Prayer and Steve & Gwen singing the Magnificat and Psalm 141 forever. And also giggling up in the balcony. 
8. Writing special notes on the open space of the bulletin to Rachel and Stephanie during the 8 am service, because our families weren't sitting together and apparently we missed each other too much.
9. Easter Sunrise service and serving pancakes until noon.
10. MC-ing the Talent Show with Stephanie and wearing a giant money that I found at a Party City for my rap scene in the dance we made up.
11. Sitting with Matt and Shannon at the beach, talking about life and faith, and being overwhelmed at the enormity of God and God's love for us.
12. No Holds Barred.
13. Jr. Chaperoning choir tours.
14. Choir tours! Epecially all day in the bus, making up games, finding innovative ways to get comfortable and take a nap, and fighting over who got to sit in the aisle.
15. Putting on knee pads for broom hockey (played with actual brooms), so I could pretend like I was really helping our team by diving on my knees periodically to get the ball. 
16. Singing "The Light Still Shines" at the 11:00 service on Christmas Eve.
17. PL waking us up every morning on any trip with "Oh, What a Beautiful Morning."
18. Rachel and I getting to "kidnap" our sisters, and surprise them with a giant welcome to SrLL by waking them up a 5 am and drawing all over their faces with crayola markers.
19. The one boom box we were allowed to use on the bus to listen to music. There was a summer that included a lot of Backstreet Boys.
20. Getting to be on the "Servant Corps" for the Western States Youth Gathering in San Jose.
21. P.L. was coming home from a trip and realized he wasn't able to get to bible study, so he called me a few minutes before it started and asked if I would lead it. He gave me the topic and some questions, and then I did it. It was one of those moments where I knew that's the kind of thing I was meant to do. Afterward my friends told me they were taking bets on how long bible study would last (it was supposed to be 2 hours and they were guessing like 15 minutes), and I surprised all of them with an hour and 10ish.

So, so, so many more memories. 

Here's a few pics!

SrLL people, what are YOUR fav memories??

Time

Time is linear. Sometimes I think about: what if time wasn't linear? Or what if it isn't always linear? What if when this world is over, we know what it's like to exist outside of time? I can't really understand what that would be like, so it makes my head hurt. Also, you probably know that I'm a little nerdy and I think about stuff like this a lot. I watched all the seasons of the new Battlestar Galactica, for example. And, then I found out I knew a bunch of people who also watched it. Which means either it's cooler than I thought or I have a lot of nerdy friends?

Ok, so here's what this post is about- thoughts on time and aging (and the closest I'll probably ever be to understanding the fluidity of time). Here's some random thoughts:

• I can say this because I'm only 31, but I think it's really a lovely thing that we come into this world dependent, and (if we're lucky enough to live a long life) we move closer and closer toward dependency again as we near death. From a faith perspective, I feel like so much of what faith is, is trusting and depending on God. It's our life's work to try to let go of our wills and control, and trust. So, I like that in the beginning and the end, we are sort of forced into dependency- that life begins still reminscent of purer dependency on our maker, and as we get closer to this life being over, we extra need to remember how to depend again.
• One of my very best friends died when I was in high school. He was 19 and I was 15. He was always a wise, big brother-mentor to me. But, now I'm a lot older than he was when he died. I passed him up 12 years ago now, but he has continued to age in my mind. He's still older than me. I don't know if that will always be true, but maybe? It's definitely be true for longer than I ever imagined.
• When I was in like 5th grade, 6th graders were OLD. And so so so cool. I would go from obnoxious and ridiculous and outgoing with my peers and turn silent and shy as soon as the cool, older kids showed up. And at some point, this changes. And then it changes a lot. Being in the church world, I regularly spend a lot of time with people older than me. Some of my most favorite people in my life have been a good 40, even 50 years older than me. And I think they're fun and I like spending time with them. 
• Kind of as an add on, different milestones in life also make people seem older. Like parenthood. Other moms who are several years younger than me, but have kids who are older than mine, somehow shift to older than me. They have wisdom that I don't have yet and I look up to them. 
• Looking at pictures and telling stories is like going back in time. I love watching home movies, looking at old pictures, and starting a million stories with, "hey, remember that one time when we..." It brings me back, and sometimes the memories are so vivid, I can feel exactly what I felt when I was there the first time.

Anyone else have any deep thoughts? Did anyone else watch Battlestar Galactica? 

(Some of the) reasons why I love my church.

I love my church. Here's a few reasons why:

1. Today, most of the congregation stayed after the service to put together Easter baskets for the food pantry. They do things like this pretty regularly, and almost everyone stays and helps.
2. They like trying things. They're often coming up with new ways for us to spend time together as a church. Here's a fun example: one time I said at a council meeting, "there are some churches that do something called 'beer and hymns' and they sing hymns in a bar, it's kind of fun." Their responses were: "That sounds fun, should we do that in October?" "Ya, what date works?" "I think I know of a bar we could go to" "If we go to this bar, we can get a free quarter barrel." "I can decorate some mugs and we can give them out." "I'll make some centerpieces." I just showed up, everyone planned everything else about it.
3. That last example is also an example of how so many people participate in things. It's a small church, so people know their presence matters, as well as their time/gifts/service/etc. Today we had someone who was sick and not able to come to be the reader or the person who does the powerpoint, and people just offered to fill their spots and everything went just fine.
4. They are warm. They really love their church and each other, and it shows. I met with one of our committees last week, and they genuinely want to reach out to the community and invite people to join us, because they want other people to get to have this kind of belonging.
5. They're faithful. The ways they approach their faith really vary, and it's kind of beautiful to see the different approaches and focuses.
6. They're direct. If they're frustrated, they say it. If they're glad, they say it. If they want me to know something, they say it. Especially after being confused by all the passive (aggressive) stuff for 8 years in Minnesota, I'm really glad to have people just say what they mean. That may be more of a product of Southern Wisconsin, than specifically Bethel, but still, I like it about them.
7. They like singing. 
8. They like praying.
9. They're just fun and funny and like hanging out after the service eating snacks.
10. They love our baby. Last Wednesday, Jesse was out of town, so I had one of our high school students watch Aaron during the Lent service. He was overtired and wanted to go to bed, and was in melt-down city. He heard me leading the service and started soooobbbbing and sobbing and sobbing. He was in the hallway right next to the sanctuary so everyone could hear him. Finally a lady told her to just bring him into the sanctuary with me, and I held him for a lot of the service, and/or he sat on the floor by me taking tissues out of the box and throwing them on the floor and stealing pencils from children and all of the pews. And still people wanted him to be by me and told me to bring him in anytime. Later this week someone pulled me aside and said, "Thank you for sharing Aaron with us. We really love him and we're really glad he's growing up with us." I can't really say how grateful I am that they love him.
11. They don't expect perfection. In fact, they expect we'll all mess up here and there, and they're happy about that.  
12. The last two council presidents have really wanted to be council president (I've only been there for these two), and are thoughtful and good leaders.
13. They're really good at announcement time and sneaking in thank yous and happy birthdays to people.
14. Lots of people serve in really humble and secret ways, probably lots of ways that I don't even know about or realize.
15. They "pass the peace" to everyone. They're the best at the peace.

There's more, but that's all for now.

My (Lottery) Dream Home

I watch a lot of HGTV. Mostly it's just a good channel to have on in the background and I like looking at houses and pretending I'm traveling by watching all the international episodes... and I want to be best friends with Joanna Gaines. So, I think a lot about what my dream house would be like if I could ever have my dream house. I am doubtful we'll ever be wealthy enough for all the pretty things I could ever want, but you know, if I like won the lottery or something (have you seen "My Lottery Dream Home"??? It's my fav. and it makes me hopeful), this is what it would be like:

• Ranch, 2-story traditional, or a craftsman. 
• Painted light gray/blue with white trim
• Depending on the house it could have brick on the outside, but only the bottom half for some contrast.
• Big yard with mature trees
• A pool and a hot tub, separately fenced from the rest of the yard so I wouldn't panic about Aaron and other possible future children falling in when I'm not looking
• Outdoor cooking area, like Stephanie's parents' house
• Big kitchen that opens up to the living room, light wood cabinets, big island, double oven, a wine fridge that I can put all of my $3.99 bottles of wine, and since it's my unattainable dream home, TWO dishwashers. But actually not two dishwashers, I'd feel too guilty about that.
• Giant windows in the living room and/or french doors and/or a bay window
• Laundry room, large enough that there could be a hanging up clothes section
• Attached (& heated if in a cold place) garage
• Mother-in-law suite above the garage
• White picket fence
• Master bedroom that's big enough to put all our furniture and a little reading nook (and/or a large enough space for Jesse and I to hide out in our room when our kids have loud friends sleeping over), with an on suite bathroom, a walk in closet, and maybe a nice big window or balcony or something.
• 5 bedrooms? That seems like a lot, but also me and Jesse would want one, one for Aaron, one for another possible future child one day, an office, and a guest room. Revision, 4 bedrooms, and the office has one of those secret folding beds. Revision again, back to 5 bedrooms, but the extra one is a craft room. Orrrrrr, back to 4 and I can permanentely have a section of the basement for crafts. I don't really do a lot of crafts, but I really feel like if I have a designated space for them, I really might!
• Bedrooms on another side of the house from the living room and kitchen.
• Finished basement that no one is ever allowed to call a man cave, ever, ever, ever.
• If in a cold place, a mud room
• I would love to live by some water- lake, ocean, river, I'm really not picky. 
• Also, the most humble version of all of these fancy things so that I can sleep at night.
• And I'd like to keep my fun neighborly neighbors.

2w3

If you've talked to me in the last 6 months, you probably know that I'm kind of obsessed with the Enneagram. Here's what The Road Back to You says the Enneagram is: "an ancient body of wisdom that identifies nine core personality types and how each sees and interacts with the world." (their website, because I didn't read the book). That was a better definition than I could have come up with. If you want to know more than that sentence, click here, or just google search "enneagram" and you'll find one million things you can click on.

I typed myself as a "2" with a "3" wing. 2s are usually called the "helper" and 3s are usually called the "achiever" or "entertainer." I'll sum up what it looks like for me with a few bullet points:

-I like people
-I like helping people
-It's my responsibility to help people
-Classic people-pleaser
-I want you to think I'm a considerate, giving, and good person. I want to be those things too, but I want you to think them even more.
-Sometimes, I like to be needed. Mostly. Until it gets overwhelming. Also, I know that I'm not supposed to like being needed, so I work on that.
-I want to be your friend.
-Sometimes I'm hurt/annoyed when people aren't as considerate as I want them to be.
-I HATE being left out.

Those are the 2 things. The 3 things for me are:
-I want to be good at things
-Being asked if I'd like to move up, do more, or getting offered this special position/leadership role/voluneer thing is suuuuper tempting to me. Even if I don't want to do it.
-I want to make you laugh, always.
-Sometimes I get swept up in acting like who I think you want me to be.
-I like to be a leader
-I loved bragging about my good grades when I was a kid.

There are more things, but I'm pretty sure if I write them, it will feel like oversharing (if it didn't already). The thing about the Enneagram is that if you get into it, it requires you to be pretty brutally honest with yourself. You get to be honest about the gifts and strengths of your number, but also the unique stuff/baggage of your number that you carefully try to manage.

So, here's what you should do. Figure out your number. Get a little obsessed too. Then we can talk about it for hours and we'll get each other and stuff.

Snapchat's going to stop being cool in April 2016.

In April of 2015, I was talking to some of my kids at church about Snapchat. I told them all how stupid it was and how I didn't want to get it, because it was probably going to go away soon. I told them to put it in their calendar, that by April 2016 no one would even use it. They did. And one year later they laughed at me because I was def. wrong. I think I even had downloaded it a month before or after that. I wish I were right, but I wasn't. Oh well, I'll keep it, because FOMO.

Wait, before I do that, let me check Facebook 600 times.

Well, that's what I do. If there's something I have to do, Facebook gets way more interesting. Sometimes I don't even realize I'm looking at it. I literally grabbed the computer JUST so I could write this post, and all of a sudden it's been 20 minutes and I just started this.

I used to have the Facebook app on my phone. It was convenient. I could be pretty much anywhere and I could click that little blue F and instantly I'd see random posts I could mindlessly scroll through. Pictures of cute babies and puppies, obnoxious political memes that subsequently inspire me to unfollow people, thoughtful articles about current events I don't understand but want to, quizzes about what Disney princess I might be and what I'm going to look like when I'm 80, inner thoughts of people I sort of knew in high school-- there is really just so much to see.

But it's a time suck. And addictive. I'd pull my phone out all the time and without even thinking about it, I'd be on Facebook for 5 minutes and I wouldn't even remember clicking on it.

And, it makes me kind of anxious sometimes. When I couldn't sleep in the middle of the night, I'd grab my phone and look at Facebook, hoping it would distract me from the zillion random unimportant thoughts I have if I wake up at 3am, but instead, I'd click on some article or read some post about politics and social issues and have one of the following reactions:
1. HOW DOES THAT PERSON THINK THAT? THEY ARE SMARTER AND KINDER THAN THAT.
2. I should probably mull over my imaginary response to that person and ask them WHY DO THEY THINK THAT TERRIBLY SIMPLISTIC AND UNTHOUGHTFUL AND HARMFUL THING and help them see something different.
3. Wait, if people knew what I thought about this current event/social issue, is there someone thinking HOW DOES SHE THINK SOMETHING LIKE THAT?
4. What do I know about this issue at all? What 18 ways are there to approach this conversation?
5. The world is FALLING APART and I don't have any basic skills to survive if all of our current infrastructure disintegrates. I don't know how to hunt. I can't keep plants alive. When should I start learning these things? 
6. Some kind of shame cycle about how I didn't speak up about the issue at hand, usually prompted at a friend posting a quote from MLK's Letter from Birmingham Jail.

Arguably, some of those reactions might be helpful to think about in the daytime, like, learning how to garden, and others too. But, really unhelpful at 3am. And weirdly, I still couldn't sleep after that.

So, like a month and a half ago, I deleted the FB app, and my life is so much better. I check FB 0-2 times a day (unless I'm trying to get work done and I have my computer out...then it's about 600 still). I probably sleep better too. Let me recommend deleting the FB app.

When best friends know exactly what you're thinking.

Sometimes all you have to do is wink or smile and your bestie knows exactly what you're thinking or what you're trying to say.

When I was in 9th grade my BFF Rachel and I decided that we could indeed read each others' minds. We were on a trip to Montana with church, and I remember we sat down by the tents and we stared into each other's eyes (not in a romantic kind of way, but in a very intense, mind-reading kind of way) until we could figure it out.

We guessed most of the things. Although, most of the things were just our inside jokes that we had just been talking about. And the ones that weren't, were mostly things that were near us that we could subtly look at after staring into the eyes, like, "were you just thinking about a tree?" or "you're thinking about our tent, aren't you?"

It's hard to know if we really had best friend mind reading or not. That same trip we were rafting on the river, and during a lull in the middle of the day, our camp counselor suggested we play, "trust fall." You were supposed to link the ends of your paddles, and then both lean back at the same time. I leaned back, and then she pushed me in the frigid water. I didn't see that coming.

Medium Large

When it comes to politics and social issues, I usually describe myself as a liberal. Or a moderate. Or a moderate liberal? Or perhaps a liberal moderate? I'm not really sure. Like if 1 was very conservative and 10 was very liberal, then maybe I'd be a 7.2, or some range of 4-9 on various issues.

You know how sometimes you can buy clothes that are two sizes at the same time? Like shoes that are a 5/6 or shirts that are S/M (which now I'm wondering if they really are "SM" and that's probably just an abbreviation for "small"?... well, just go with it). I'm probably like that. So, with politics, I guess I'm a M/L?

So far, in every election I've been old enough to vote in, I've voted Democrat. Well, that's not totally true. I didn't vote in the first election I was old enough to vote in (2004). I decided to research the issues and candidates the day of the election and got overwhelmed and just didn't do it. I regret it now, but also I was a new freshmen in college and turned 18 not even a month before. (Yes, I started college when I was 17. Side note, when I turned 18, my roommates took me to Borderline, because you had to be at least 18 to get in. Some kids called it "the club" and that's funny because it's definitely a country bar and grill with occassional hip hop on the weekends. Anyways.). For several years I was registered as "declined to state." I'm pretty sure now I'm registered as a Democrat, but I'm definitely not going to be more faithful to a party than my values, logic, kindness, decency, etc. I'll vote for who and what I think is best.    

Maybe it's more like this: I tend to lean left, but I also try live in the middle. I think our country probably needs more middle. Or at the very least, that we'd occassionally meet each other in the middle, so we could have clarity, understanding, perhaps even agreement on things. The whole picking sides and imagining the other side as _________ (fill in the blank with whatever unhelpful word you feel like you want to call the side you don't think you're on), really isn't helpful. Also, and we could use more listening and learning, instead of yelling and spouting.  

  

  

Feel stuff, it's a lot better than not feeling stuff.

I have a weird passion: I really want people to acknowledge the things that make them sad. I don't mean that they should just unload all of their feelings on random strangers (we've all met people like that and it is UNCOMFORTABLE), I mean just being honest with yourself when things are tough.

I'm a positive person. According to Strengths Finders, my number two strength is positivity. I usually see the brightside of most situations and like to say things like, "well, the good new is... (+ hopefully something that gets a small chuckle or eye roll)," or "at least (+ some horrible thing that didn't happen or something to be grateful for)". Sometimes being positive is really helpful. Sometimes it's really helpful to me. And sometimes it really ignores struggle that will be best healed by being honest about it.

I know how tempting it is to want to just move on from pain and move on to cheer, gratitude, happiness, positivity. I know the pressure to not feel sad. I know all that in me, and so I find that I notice when other people are doing it too. Sometimes I have to consciously resist the temptation to be positive, because I can tell that someone needs the complex feelings to be noticed and not brightside-ed away, whether or not they want it to be.

It's not that there's no room for positivity, it's just that acknowledging something is sad alongside it is important to me.

5 Hour Energy

I started writing this post last night but then I kept falling asleep, so I just finished it up!

I haven't written a post in a few days because it's been a busy week, and also because I'm an insomniac right now. I probably could have used that no sleeping time wisely, like not mull over all the things or play the design home game I have on my phone, but I did those things instead.  

So, here's a short post on 5 Hour Energy:

Overall, here's what I can tell you about it: it's really gross.  I tried it like 7 years ago and it made me feel kind of queasy and still really tired. The commercials for 5 Hour Energy make it seem like it's just a tiny coffee in a bottle. Respectable people in suits having a little pick me up in the afternoon. Moms and Dads holding a 5 Hour Energy bottle in their hands like it's a lemonade. We all know that the people who actually drink 5 Hour Energy are probably young college students with headaches on Tuesday mornings. College students' caffeine consumption threshold is much higher than that of a regular person. I remember one of my college BFFs would come to class every Tuesday and Thursday with a Diet Coke, a Rockstar, Sun Chips, while also needing to take Sudafed for all the allergies. And she was pretty much fine. In conclusion, had 5 Hour Energy existed when I was in college, I probably would have known a lot of people who drank it regularly. But, it didn't, and so, I didn't and I don't. 

  

survey chain mail, circa 2000

When I was in 9th grade, me and my besties would email survey chain mail several times a week. As a tribute to that special time in my life, here's a random survey:


1. What time did you get up this morning? 5:45 am 

2. How do you like your steak? medium well

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? The Post 

4. What is your favorite TV show? right now, This is Us... of all time, The Office

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? California-Minnesota-Wisconsin-Colorado-Montana-North Carolina-Hawaii...all simultaneously. But, also, probably some cool countries that I haven't been to yet- Austrailia? New Zealand? Scotland? Ireland? Italy?  

6. What did you have for breakfast? a shake Madison made me and some ritz chips

7. What is your favorite cuisine? Nachos 

8. What foods do you dislike? frozen peas, spam, hamburger helper 

9. Favorite Place to Eat? Cisco's, BJ's, CPK, Pizza Luce, Moy's

10. Favorite dressing? Caesar 

11.What kind of vehicle do you drive? Suburu 

12. What are your favorite clothes? jeans and a tank top with zip up sweatshirt over it 

13. Where would you visit if you had the chance? I'd love to see the Vatican and I'd really love to go to Scotland and New Zealand 

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full? full 

15. Where would you want to retire? somewhere warm and near an airport so I can go on all the trips and a lake would be nice too, 

16. Favorite time of day? morning 

17. Where were you born? Los Robles Hospital, TO 

18. What is your favorite sport to watch? baseball 

19. How many siblings? 2 sisters

20.Favorite pastime/hobby: going on all the walks outside, cooking, singing, watching netflix while making crafts, learning Spanish, and hanging out with people I love 

21. Who are you most curious about their responses to this? I'd be curious if anyone responded to this!

22. Bird watcher? nooooppeee, wait! Actually, I just remembered, when I was in like 5th grade we'd sit on our little folding chairs on the driveway and watch the owls that lived in my neighbor's palm trees.

23. Are you a morning person or a night person? morning, as long as there's coffee

24. Do you have any pets? Autumn, the cute and obnoxious yellow lab

25. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share? I don't, but if I did, this would be the perfect way to announce it. 

26. What did you want to be when you were little? A grandma or a princess, and then when I got a little older, I wanted to be the president, an entrepreneur, an astronaut, or a financial planner. 

27. What is your best childhood memory? playing "20 hits" with my dad in the front yard (it was like baseball, not hitting each other), doing crafts at my grandma and grandpa's house while listening to Gene Autry Christmas music and drinking hot chocolate, camping in the living room on NYE and laughing hysterically with my family after my baby sister was telling "jokes," and waiting for Christmas morning with my sisters + Christmas morning.   

28. Are you a cat or dog person? DOG

29. Are you married? Yes 

30. Always wear your seat belt? Yes 

31. Been in a car accident? no, but one time I closed the garage door on my (new) car, then panicked and backed up, and it scratched the entire top of the car. 

32. Any pet peeves? so so so many. But, the biggest: smacking food, especially cake. Also, I wrote a post about that last year. 

33. Favorite Pizza Toppings? pepperoni, extra pepperoni, mushrooms, green pepper, and crushed red pepper.

34. Favorite Flower? daffodils, orange/red roses, and gerber daisies 

35. Favorite ice cream? the soy mint chocolate kind.

36. Favorite fast food restaurant? Taco Bell, but I haven't had that in like 5 years because I have a grown up stomach now, and it is against Taco Bell. So, Chipotle. 

37. How many times did you fail your driver's test? once and then instantly cried when I saw my mom after

38. From whom did you get your last email? The Greater Milwaukee Synod Listserve

39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Target, 100%

40. Do anything spontaneous lately? I spontaneously followed the same schedule I've had for the last several months.

41. Like your job? sure do!

42. Broccoli? I'm not sure what you're asking. 

43. What was your favorite vacation? Fam trip to South Dakota, church trip to Montana, and friend trip to Mexico

44. Last person you went out to dinner with! Madison, Dave, Judy, Jesse, and Aaron 

45. What are you listening to right now? HGTV, obvi

46. What is your favorite color? blue

47. How many tattoos do you have? zero 

48. How many people will fill this out? It's really hard to know. Of the people that I know? 0. 

49. What time did you finish this quiz? 10:15 pm

50. Coffee Drinker? yes, and it brings me the same joy that the Folgers commercials suggest I'll have. I don't buy Folgers though. We have some Kona coffee that was on sale at the grocery store and it's delicious.

Fishing.

In second grade, our teacher had us all enter a coloring contest. I think the picture was of the Easter bunny. I remember sitting at a table with my friends and we were all coloring our pictures, and several of us started to criticize our pictures: "I don't know, I don't think I colored this very well," "See, I got out of the lines over here," "Your picture is wayyyy better than my picture," etc. (we probably weren't quite so articulate in second grade, but just go with it). All of us would say really encouraging things back: "What are you talking about? I love your picture," "yours is really good!"

And I remember realizing at the time that we weren't really criticizing our pictures, we were actually just fishing for compliments. Well, I think probably someone perceptive in the group noticed and called us all out, but nonetheless, it was memorable.

Since then, I've noticed when I think people are fishing for something. I think the most common fishing from people I meet is through self deprication that I'm supposed to disagree with or the "I wish someone would just do this thing... and I'm secretly/not-so-secretly hinting it should be you."

I know that I do this sometimes, not always consciously, but still, I know do it. And even though I do this sometimes, it doesn't stop me from being suppperrr annoyed when other people are fishing for something from me.

Here's how I deal:

1. Pretend I don't notice at all.

I had a friend once who would fish for me to share things with her. I remember I had a piece of chocolate cake, and she saw it and kept saying, "I wish I had some chocolate cake." I could tell she was just hoping I'd say, "oh, that's perfect, because I have some chocolate cake right here, would you like some?" and I was not about to say that. There's a good chance if I have chocolate cake, I don't really want to share it with you, but I might if you ask (nicely). But if you hint and fish around for me to offer you a thing that I don't even really want to share, you'll be waiting for a while.

2. Give in and give a compliment.

When I think someone is fishing for a compliment, I'm a little annoyed, but also, I think maybe they're feeling a little insecure about whatever the thing is, and so I'd rather cheer them up and reasure them, than have them feel bad.

I thought maybe there were more things that I was going to put on this list, that's why I put them in a numbered list, but I think this is pretty much it.

Bedtime Practices

Every night before bed, I write in 1-3 books: a gratitude book, and two of those little pocket calendars. I write at least 5 things I'm thankful for/ things that were good about my day in the gratitude book. A friend of mine got me the book 3 years ago, and I've been writing it most nights since. One of the pocket calendars I write down fun things I did: friends/family who came to visit, trips we went on, random festivals around southern Wisconsin, church events, family adventures, and our Friday afternoon dates. The other pocket calendar I write down when I do something that scares me. I want to be a braver person, and I think it helps me when I celebrate the things I do that make me nervous and/or are vulnerable.

They're pretty good practices and really easy to do. Those little calendars are like a dollar, and if you don't have a special gratitude journal, just get a regular one. Put them by your bed with a good pen, so you have to look at them before you go to sleep (I mean, only if you think this is a good idea and want to do it too).

Luxury

Now that I have a baby, my idea of luxury seems a little different. I did crafts alone for an hour while watching a terrible movie and it felt like a spa day. I've never had a "spa day" (although one time a lady from church gave me a coupon for a free massage/spa day at the tanning salon; I mean, I think the level of luxury of that is pretty self-explanatory), but I can imagine it's really restful. That's how I feel now when I go for a walk or make dinner or read the news on my phone in the morning. One time Jesse and I went to the movies and it was a pretty exciting thing for us. Life is really good and different. :-) 

Buggy the Bug

When I was in first grade, my bff Bernard and I made a "bug" out of paper (we pretty much folded a piece of paper a few times and put a smiley face on him). We named him, "Buggy." Buggy the Bug. We eventually made him a paper home for him to sleep, and sometimes we'd dig him a little cave in the sandbox for him to play in. During class, he'd take turns living in my desk and in Bernard's desk.

He was a faithful pet. If he got ripped or we accidentally threw him away, we'd just take out another piece of notebook paper, do a few fancy folds, and Buggy would reappear.

I miss playing games like this. I don't know that I ever grew out of playing and being weird and silly. Like, if I was hanging out with some friends at a bar or restaurant and they picked up a napkin and folded it and said, "hey, let's pretend this is a bug." I'd say, "definitely."

That's mostly unlikely though. BUT, I have a one year old. And he thinks everything is fun. I'm going to teach him all the pretending.

The gospel according to Coolio

Back in 1995, the best show on at 7:30 am was MTV jams. I would get ready for school as fast as I could so I could watch the top 10 jams. I got ready even faster when Coolio's Gangsta's Paradise was number one.

If it's been a while since you've heard it, now's a good time. It was THE JAM to 9 year old me, and apparently also to MTV. Here's a youtube.

I remember once my cousin made a copy of the song from the radio onto a cassette. We were all in the car with my great-grandma, and she let us blast it. We played it over and over again crusing around Thousand Oaks, while I'm sure my great-grandma rolled her eyes and/or smiled and/or sang it with us. I always smile thinking of that memory. I mean, how many great-grandmas do you see blasting rap? 

You may remember the first line of the song, "as I walk through the valley of the shadow of death..." It's a quote from Psalm 23. It's a popular psalm to read at funerals (it's a lovely psalm, so that makes sense). My great-grandma passed away 11 years ago today. I remember sitting by my cousin during her service and she flipped open the bulletin, and what was printed there? Psalm 23. She looked over at me and whispered excitedly, "it's grandma's song!" It was perfect. I think we did a few laugh-cries.

And that's how Coolio brought a little good news one time.

I miss my grandma and hope she's rolling her eyes at how ridiculous this post is. 

 

Are we there yet?

So, I think I've worked over 20 hours in the last two days, and we've got a sick baby who has so many boogers and woke up at 12, 1:30, 2:30, 3:30, and 6 because of it, and also I've been getting this cold for like 5 days (I'm taking all the zicam, mom), and it's like 10:30 and I'm too tired for my little brain to be creative....SO, here's part of an article I wrote for my church newsletter today:

When I was little (ahem, younger), our family used to take a lot of road trips. Me and my sisters would cram in the back of the Ford Tempo with just about every toy we could fit in our little backpacks, all smooshed in, and we’d drive and drive and drive. Like every kid, we bickered half of the way: “Mom, she touched my leg!” “Dad, she’s bugging me!”, etc. And, like every kid, we asked the question that has been asked of every parent in the history of the world: “Are we there yet?”

Every day, we had a sense of where were going: what city we had motel reservations at, parks we could stop at, museums, etc. (8-year old me was mostly concerned about one thing on vacation: the motel pool. When were we going to get there so we could play in the pool?). Knowing the fun things that we’d be doing, probably made us ask it even more. Are we there yet?

I think most of us are aware of the shifts we’ve seen in the life of the church in the U.S. Technology is developing at exponential rates, the culture is changing, needs are changing, etc. We’re aware that we’re in between places, from how church used to be and from what church will look like in the years to come.

There are days when we might just be tempted to just turn around and go back, even though we know that we can’t really do that. And there are days when we want to ask over and over and over again, “are we there yet?”

 

Before we ask that though, I think there’s another question we need to ask ourselves: do we know where we’re going?

In a life of faith, in some ways the answer will always be “no.” That a life of trusting God means taking steps out into an unknown future, trusting that God’s going to be here. But, in the midst of that, we’re called to be discerning together. We are invited to share wisdom, share passion, ideas, hopes, and our imaginations for our community of faith. 

The rest of the article was about Bethel, so I'll just stop there. :-)