I've been having a bit of a pity party these days. I'm not super proud of it, but also, it's true.
It's the year anniversary of when most of us reoriented our lives pretty significantly because of this virus. I look at a year ago when we were "all in this together" and making sense of all of the implications of covid, struggling together, making stupid jokes together to alleviate the tension and confusion, and sacrificing for each other, together. I believed when people said it and it gave me hope to see sidewalk chalk messages of friendship/encouragement and signs in peoples' lawns, and knowing that even if we were keeping physical space from each other, we were doing it together.
Unsurpringly though, as we hit this year mark of living with the virus, it's pretty clear that we are not all in this together anymore. Maybe we never were, but surely we aren't now. And it's complicated, there are many reasons why. I was going to list them, but we all know them all already, because we feel them and experience them in all of our relationships and in all places where community gathers or "gathers."
For me, the pity party has shown up lately in feeling left behind. I know many people can relate to that loneliness that comes from realizing that not all of us are still (or ever were?) sacrificing for the sake of the health of our neighbors or the most vulnerable around us, or the resentment that comes when we see people doing the very things we so want to do (hug people, see our families, travel, church, parties, etc.) but have chosen not to do right now. And now, the vaccine rollout which will allow some of us to get back some sense of normalcy sooner than others.
I don't know what to say about it other than I'm a human, and you're a human. Maybe there is no experience in which we are all "in it together." Maybe we acknowledge our different experiences and try to be grateful where we are. But if you are having a pity party too, you're welcome to join me! I love parties. And you.
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