Celebrities I'm not willing to be a fan of because I won't lose hope of being their best friend

(...or at a least distant acquaintance)

• Mindy Kaling
• Ellen DeGeneres
• Amy Poehler
• Ellie Kemper
• Kristen Wiig
• Anna Kendrick
• Ike Barinholtz
• Jennifer Aniston
• Tina Fey
• Steve Carell
• Jennifer Lawrence 
• Jenna Fischer

It's not a very long list, because you really can't be everyone's best friend. 

I pretty much just love funny people (and people with great hair like Jennifer Aniston. She is funny though! She's funny AND she has nice hair. They're not mutually exclusive.) and this list of people are really fun (I'd imagine, since I've never met any of them. Actually, I sat near Steve Carell at the airport once, but I didn't know who he was at the time. Biggest regret of my life probably.) and really funny (I bet English majors are so mad at me for this "sentence").

I wish I knew how to act, because what I really need to do is be a on a hit comedy show. Then, we will develop our friendships over time, working together, laughing at all the hilarious jokes we have to say, and bonding. Or actually ACTUALLY, I need to learn how to write scripts, because then I could hang out with all of the funny people who write the funny things for the actors to say. 

Who has a connection to any of these people? Are they looking for a new best friend? Or how about an acquaintance? I can work with either scenario. But for real, I've got to know people who know people who know other people who know one of these celebrities.