The mean one.

One time I had a nemesis. Her name was Kayla. We were in seventh grade. And we didn't like each other, for no obvious reason that I can think of.

Every girl at Colina Middle School in the late nineties would draw designs on their hands with Milky Pens. I had a whole collection that I kept in my SpaceMaker. I also regularly wore butterfly clips. And pastel dyed Dickeys overalls. It was a whole asthetic. (I linked random pics of those things- for nostalgia's sake. I don't make any money on this blog by linking things. I also just don't make any money on this blog or ever try to.) 

Anyway, I'd sit in choir a few rows away from Kayla, each of us with our butterfly clips, drawing designs on our hands when we had singing breaks. We'd look over at each other and roll our eyes at each other, annoyed by everything. I remember saying passive aggressive things about her loudly enough so she could hear. She probably did the same.

I always assumed Kayla was the mean one. I just didn't like Kayla because Kayla didn't like me. She was mean to me, so I was mean back. I was totally the nice one.

One day I wasn't mean to her. I have zero memory of what I did, but it was something considerate. I smiled at her or asked if she wanted help with something, I don't know. And surprise surprise, Kayla responded warmly back. And after that, instead of glaring at each other a few rows away, sometimes we'd smile. We started to say hi when we passed each other in the hall. We didn't become besties, but also, we stopped being enemies.

Here's what I realized that time: I bet she thought I was the mean one. I bet she was mean to me because I was mean to her. I bet she just didn't like me because I didn't like her. 

It's hard to tell sometimes. And also, sometimes you're wrong. (To be clear: I'm saying that in a wise lessony way, but literally here I mean me, sometimes I'm wrong).  

In conclusion, that's why my high school senior quote was, "a smile is a curve that can set a lot of things straight."

In conclusion again, I'm glad butterfly clips haven't come back. I might be into the overalls though.