5 Minute Blog

I told Jesse I would write this blog post for 5 minutes. I set a timer. Jesse wants to go to bed soon, which is a good goal. I have everything that I want to do when I get home, which sometimes takes a long time. Shower-talk about our days-this blog-play massages-HGTV-talk some more. Every night we play massages where we literally set the timer for 10 mins and rub each other's shoulders. It's gotten so routine that my back starts hurting extra around 10pm.

The timer just beeped, but I think I'll write a couple more minutes until Jesse turns around to tell me that he noticed the timer went off. I do that sometimes. He's really good at time management, and I sort of walk this line of taking more time but not too much that my husband gets very annoyed... just a little annoyed.

We're at the massages part of our bedtime routine, so see ya.   

Tell me all your thoughts on God.

I'll tell you a few things because this is a short blog:

1. We belong to each other. That sounds like more of a thought on people, but it's also about God for me. Every person that exists is a beloved child of God, and therefore also has value, the same value as everybody else, to God. And when I think about the world, I generally think as a whole we are pretty terrible about believing that every person is beloved and has the same value and worth. Maybe because we forget that we belong to each other, and that we're all fellow humans meant to care about each other? (SOMETIMES though, we do offer grace and love to people and that is beautiful and inspiring.)
2. Everything doesn't happen for a reason. My least fav "Christian" phrase is "everything happens for a reason." I wrote a whole blog post about it a year or two ago if you want to read a long reflection about that. Mostly, I think some things do. People in my life often feel like this gift that wasn't an accident, certain possibilities seem like the work of the divine, and I thank God for near misses. Overall though, I don't think God has everything all planned out. If God does, then I have a lot of questions about suffering and loss. I tend to think that God grieves with us when we grieve, and isn't the one doling out heartache for the sake of some new opportunity or lesson. 
3. God makes life out of death. Lots of the hills burned up in my hometown this fall. Everything was black and dead. My friends and fam have been telling me lately that the hills are covered in flowers and are green, and you'd never know that they had been burned. Life out of death is part of nature. It's also this thing I've experienced in my life, where I've been able to hold joy at the same time as despair, and to me, that's God bringing life out of death. When my bff died, I also found support in community, friends that were estranged came back together to love each other and grieve together, gratitude for a friend I got to know and love (and know I really mattered to), and also this sense deep in my gut that there is life beyond death and we'll see each other again. To me, that hope is life. Also, Jesus.      
4. Beautiful things come from God. You know, like sunsets and oceans and music and math and  kids' wonder.
5. God is more loving, more compassionate, more merciful than me and you.   

Funny Things Aaron Says

Pretty much everything Aaron says is funny. Here's a few things I can think of right now:

Third Person:
"Aaron going on the slide." "Aaron running." "Aaron laughin'."

Me & You:
He gets pretty confused about who is "me" and who is "you." It does seem confusing since I call him "you," so he mostly says "you" when he's talking about himself. Like, "momma, sit by you?" which means, "Momma, will you sit by me?" Sometimes he says, "I love you" and I'm not sure if he's talking to me or not.

Pretend (or, "pee-tend"):
He wrapped himself in a blanket the other day and said, "I a princess" and then twirled. Later he put a plastic basket on his head and said, "I be a astronaut." He also told me he was a "builder-guy" and a "worker-man."

Playing Church:
Aaron, while running to the front of the church during worship: "Be Pastor Aaron. Sing in the microphone!"

When he's yelling too loud:
Me or Jesse: Aaron, shhhh. Use your inside voice.
Aaron: Daddy's sleeping.

Questions about Autumn:
"I run with Autumn?" and then he runs, whether or not Autumn notices.
"Hit Autumn with hammer?" (just to be clear, the answer is definitely not)
"Give food a Autumn?"

Saying something that Aaron also said:
"Aaron say it!" (aka, I'm the only one that gets to say that, don't say it too)

You know what, he says a lot of funny stuff, and most of it's funnier stuff than this, and I should write it down, because I can hardly remember any of it.

Things my parents taught me

I could write a book about the stuff my parents have taught me, but here are a few of the helpful highlights:

• You can't always get what you want. (The Rolling Stones made a significant contribution to this learning)
• Tell the truth, you'll get in less trouble if you're honest about whatever thing you did that you shouldn't have.
• When you trust God and give money/time away to others, you'll have enough.
• You can be whatever you want to be.
• Do stuff, do new stuff, have lots of adventures (the more random the better).
• Family= numero uno
• Going for walks is really fun and you should do it every day.
• Tell the people you love that you love them. Often. And then hug them a bunch.
• It's perfectly acceptable to fall asleep on the couch at 8pm
• Work hard.
• That hot sauce can be put on any food. ANY food.
• God stories before bed
• If you don't clean your car, you're never going to get a husband. I'm sure it was my clean car that won Jesse's heart. It could be though, he IS the clean one.

Arm?

When I was little, I had a blankie. I used to suck my two fingers (right pointer & middle), and pinch my blankie with the other hand. It was a comfort thing, probably. Blankie was all ripped up and actually a choking hazard near the end.

Aaron does something similar, except that there's no blankie... just my arm. He likes to lay his head on the squishy part of my arm, or pinch it for comfort. If I have a sweatshirt on, he asks if he can have my arm. "Momma, arm?" Sometimes I say yes, and sometimes I say no. As precious as it is while he's a cute two year old, I have a feeling it's going to get less precious the older he gets. He used to fall asleep pinching my cheek, so I guess my arm is better?

Manna

Manna is the food God gave the Israelites while they were wandering in the wilderness. I'm pretty sure manna means, "what is it?" and I think that's funny. I have a feeling it wasn't all that appetizing. But it fed them, and they survived.

The thing about manna was that they couldn't collect more than they needed. Every day they had to collect more of it. If they horded it, it would all go bad. So manna made them have to trust. Every day. Trust there would be enough to survive the next day.

A couple years ago we moved for Jesse's new job. I was interviewing at a congregation, but the process often takes months, so I was unemployed in a new city for about 3 months. Aaron was still in my tummy, so I wasn't very busy. And that made me crazy.

I'm an extrovert. Hanging out by myself all day with no purpose is probably definitely not my best self. I am being dramatic, I had plenty of purpose, but you know what I mean. So, I started thinking about purpose/connection/human interactions/things to do each day as manna. When I looked at my calendar that was mostly blank it was overwhelming, but you know what? Each day I received manna. I had something each day that brought me joy, I found reasons to leave the house, practices and hobbies that were important to me, a new love for cooking, new people to meet, people I love that came to visit, etc. I always had enough.

When I think about any particular aspect of my life being scarce, I think about manna. I think God's still handing that out. What is it? Maybe it looks a little different for each of us.



   

Fav. lines in hymns

I love all the hymns. I've practically got the hymnal memorized. Here are a few fav lines from some hymns (I'm just going to write them from memory, so they might not all be right):

"Not in the dark of buildings confining, not in some heaven light-years away, here in this place the new light is shining, now is the kingdom and now is the day." (Gather Us In, v. 4)

"Heaven cannot hold him, nor earth sustain. Heaven and earth shall fade away when he comes to reign. In the bleak mid-winter, a stable would suffice, the Lord God Almighty, Jesus Christ." (In the Bleak Midwinter, v. 2)

"Spirit, spirit of gentleness, blow through the wilderness calling and free. Spirit, spirit of restlessness, stir me from placidness, wind, wind on the sea" (Spirit of Gentleness, chorus)

"See from his head, his hands, his feet, sorrow and love flow mingled down. Did e'er such love and sorrow meet? Or thorns compose so rich a crown?" (I always forget the name of this song, but it's v. 3)

"Long lay the world, in sin and error pining, til he appeared and the soul felt it's worth. A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices, for yonder breaks a new and glorious morn. Fall on your knees..." (O Holy Night, is it a hymn? Most of v. 1 and part of the chorus)

"Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it. Prone to leave the God I love. Take my heart, Lord, take and seal it. Seal it for thy courts above." (Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing, part of v.3)

"Sing out, ring out, jubilation, exultation, tell the story..." (I can't remember the name of this one, but I think it's part of v. 5. Diane Pearson helped me love it.)

"Though I am small, my God my all, you work great things in me." (Canticle of the Turning. I think it's part of v. 2? Guess why I like this one? ha)

"Come, live in the light." (The first line of We Are Called) 

"The hopes and fears of all the years are met in thee tonight." (O Little Town of Bethlehem, v. 1)

I know there are more, but I'm tired. What are your favs?

 

Good looks over the years

I've had a lot of "good" looks over the years. Here's a few highlights to hopefully make you feel better about your own awkward phases:

These glasses. College?

For some reason I dressed up as the devil on halloween a lot. This was the 2nd or 3rd time. The first time was at my Christian preschool. Look at me now.

This bowl-cut

This outfit me and my bestie made and put together for homecoming because it was medieval theme. And also, this awk pic I took with my sis there. 

White shorts-white shirt- white shoes- slicked back hair. 7th grade? 8th grade?

This sweet fanny pack/ toddler carrier I bought (and love).

Messy bun and regular zoolander pose

Slicked hair, 75 pounds, and green polo choir shirts.

tube socks, tiny motorcycle, 12th grade.

"California Kelli"/ "10 peoples' worth of eyeliner" phase/ I love my grandpa/ I kinda want to bleach my hair again

The napkin hat & scarf + pipe cleaner glasses look, seminary years, Heather's inspiration and pic filter.

These zip off hiking pants that become shorts.

French braids like everyday of 9th grade.

ABCs

The problem with getting this far into Lent is that all the topics that I had thought up at the beginning and still have left, are left for a reason. Mostly it's either one of two things: I didn't remember what I meant by the titles I made up or I avoided them because they were less fun or too tiring to write.

This is one where I don't really know what I meant, but I'll think of some things to say anyways.

Aaron learned his ABCs. He's been working on them since about Christmas, but he really locked them in when he had the stomach flu and watched TV for like 3 days straight (which included lots of kid song music videos).

When he was first learning them he said it like this once:
"ABCD-F-GHIJK--PP--POOPOO..."
You know, you really can follow his train of thought there.

Now he says them pretty well:
ABCD(still won't say E for some reason)FGHIJK-Elmo-P [QRS (these are optional)]-TVooVeeeWXY-Z Now I know ABCs next time won't a singalonga me...YAYYYYY!!!

When he see any letters on anything he says, "ABCD!" and points.

He's really smart. If he keeps this up he might be writing his own Lenten blog next year.

What Harry Potter character are you, and why?

It's a toss up between Ron and Mrs. Weasley.

Ron because he's kinda nerdy and loyal, a good friend, and he super wants to be popular. He also chokes when he feels nervous playing Quiddich, and I also do that, but with muggle things.

Mrs. Weasley because she yells empty threats to her kids and also will do anything to protect them.  She also a bit sentimental and bossy, and wants to take care of everyone. I learned how to crochet a hat this year, and I gave Aaron one that is probably at a similar level of embarassment and love as the annual Christmas sweater she knits.

Things that always make me cry.

Here's a list of things that consistently make me cry:

1. Reconciliation. 
2. The scene in The Land Before Time when Little Foot thinks he sees his mom when it's really his own shadow.
3. When I take Aaron anywhere special: Disneyland, the MoA, Bentleyville, getting to meet Santa, etc.
4. The scene in AI where the robot kid (I don't remember his name, I only watched it once and it makes me cry to think about, so I've never watched it again) after like 500 years finally finds his way home and he thinks his mom will be there, but obvi she died a bunch of years ago and she's not there. 
5. The last episode of Lost.
6. Going tubing, like behind a boat kind of tubing.
7. Kids crying for their moms. One summer at camp, I made the mistake of telling that to a group of 3rd grade boys, so everytime they'd walk by me they'd start fake crying for their moms. And honestly, it did make me tear up, even though I knew they were faking it.
8. This list, apparently. I read it to Jesse and couldn't make it through without getting choked up.
9. Watching this prodigal son video

Last Meal

Of course, I hope this is a very hypothetical situation, but if I were awaiting my execution and could pick a really perfect last meal, this is what I would have:

Pretty much, the perfect meal would be everything that destroys my stomach, but is so delicious. I think we all know that I'm talking about Taco Bell. I'd order a nachos bel grande if that still exists and I'd make sure there was extra cheese and sour cream because I haven't really had cheese and sour cream in like 20 years, and then I'd pour like 7 fire sauce packets on it. I'd have better guac on the side though, maybe from Chipotle or the tableside kind that costs $12ish at Cisco's. I'm not sure how hungry I am after I eat this, but if I have room, I might try to eat some pizza with cheese on it, or just really go for some dairy-desserts. Right now, it seems like a half slice of that reese's pb+chocolate silk pie from Perkin's would be good, and a half slice of chocolate cake with ganache al a mode would be a good ending. Basically, I want to pretend I have the stomach and appetite of a 15 year old, with no consequences. Which, considering this very hypothetical situation that I hope never comes to fruition, I'm already reaping serious consequences, what's a couple hours of delicious food bliss without having to curl up in the fetal position later?

What'd be your last meal?

Predictive Text

A thing I really enjoy doing is these "complete the sentence with the predictive text on your phone" deals.

I never respond via fbook because I don't want you to know that I'm into these, but I do regularly text my sisters my answers. They'll send a few back, and I'll send them my top 87 favorites.

Here's a few that I found on the internet and then filled in my answers:

I was born...

• I was born in the same way I am now
• I was born to be a good last year
• I was born and I was born with a fever
• I was born with this game and it was really fun

Write your first and last name and...

• Kelli Weiss and time to be
• Kelli Weiss and how you can go back with us
• Kelli Weiss and time are the best
• Kelli Weiss and how are you all doing today

Harry Potter and the...

• Harry Potter and the time of you
• Harry Potter and the summer is over
• Harry Potter and the afternoon is what we want
• Harry Potter and the time I was finally there 

I love my partner because...

• I love my partner because he has to work at this hour
• I love my partner because I don't want to get him to go back to the house
• I love my partner because you know I love love (heart emoji)
• I love my partner because he's so excited to be able to talk to me

My dog is...

• My dog is just getting ready to take my car
• My dog is so sick and I'm so sad
• My dog is a really nice guy but I don't think he is a real man
• My dog is going on my birthday omorrow and I'm not feeling much like that

Stupid Obstacles

I haven't been as diligent about writing this blog as other years. There are a a few reasons:

1. Full time job and a full time toddler
2. I go to bed earlier
3. I've written close to 140 posts already, so I'm just a little less passionate this year.
4. I got a gym membership and there's a hot tub there.
5. Number 4 is worth repeating.
6. STUPID OBSTACLES

Here's what I actually want to talk about: stupid obstacles. A little bit ago I thought, "oh, I should write my blog post soon." and then I thought, "oh man, but the computer is 5 feet away. And, I'll have to plug it in because I'm pretty sure it's dead." And for a few seconds this was a legitimate excuse to skip it tonight. The outlet is right next to the couch, and unrolling the computer cord takes at most an additional 5 seconds. So we're talking an 8-10 seconds of addtional work. I convinced myself that was a dumb reason not to do a practice, so here I am. But it got me thinking, sometimes the things "standing in my way" of doing something helpful/meaningful/good for me/doing a thing that requires some amount of discipline are really not in my way at all. I bet this is why we get lazy.

Here are some examples that I could imagine myself thinking at some point in my life:

• The remote's across the room, so I'll watch one more episode on Netflix.
• I'm too tired to get ready for bed, so I'll sit here thinking about how tired I am.
• I'm too cold to get out of bed and put the sweatshirt on that's right next to the bed, so I'll just stay in bed.
• I'll have to change my clothes to go to the gym, and I'm not sure that I want to change my clothes.

What thin excuses do you catch yourself thinking (or making?)?