Very Specific Pet Peeves

Here's a few very specific pet peeves that I have:

• When people bring their cell phones in yoga class.
• When people bring their iced coffees in yoga class.                                                              (These are usually the same people.)
• When people take more than one paper towel to dry off their hands in the bathroom. I used to be one of you. But, then I tried only using one and my hands are equally dry. I promise you only need one. Try it. You don't need 2. You definitely don't need 7.
• When people say, "welcome to [insert new difficult situation you're in that they have already experienced]" instead of choosing empathy.
• Being asked if I'm a teenager. Then being told I'll like that question when I'm older when I don't thank them for asking.

(I sound saltier than I feel. It would be okay if I felt as salty as I sound though. But, I don't.) 

 

fav songs for all the years

Here's a list of my fav songs (I'm guessing) since my birth:

1986: Twinkle Twinkle
1987: Old McDonald
1988: ABCs
1989: I wanna be like you (Jungle Book)
1990: That one song from The Little Mermaid where Ursula is stealing Ariel's voice.
1991: Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer (Gene Autry)
1992: Born in the USA (Bruce Springsteen)
1993: Yakety Yak (The Coasters)
1994: Don't Go Chasin' Waterfalls (TLC)
1995: Gangsta's Paradise (Coolio)
1996: Always Be My Baby (Mariah Carey)
1997: My Heart Will Go On (Celine Dion)
1998: Truly, Madly, Deeply (Savage Garden) (bahahahahaaaaaa, it helps if you remember I was 12)
1999: I Want It That Way (Backstreet Boys)
2000: Arms Wide Open (Creed)
2001: Hanging By A Moment (Lifehouse)
2002: Be Like That (3 Doors Down)
2003: Sweetness (Jimmy Eat World)
2004: Lean On Me (Bill Withers) and More Than a Feeling (Boston)
2005: Feels Like Today (Rascal Flatts)
2006: The Thunder Rolls (Garth Brooks) or Where is Your Boy Tonight (Fall Out Boy)
2007: Stay (Little Big Town) or Ain't Going Down (Garth Brooks) because I learned a line dance
2008: Bohemian Rhapsody (Queen)
2009: Bring Me Your Love (City and Colour)
2010: When You Come Back Down (Nickel Creek)
2011: Don't Need No (Punch Brothers) and A Place Only You Can Go (NEEDTOBREATHE)
2012: Inspite of Ourselves (John Prine & Iris DeMent), because we awkwardly put this in our wedding slideshow and made everyone uncomfortable.
2013: I Am Set Free (All Sons and Daughters), actually all of their songs for this whole year
2014: No Diggity (Blackstreet). Probably not my fav for 2014, but I couldn't think of anything else and it seemed wrong to not include it.
2015: The Heart (NEEDTOBREATHE)
2016: Can't Stop the Feeling (Justin Timberlake)- I don't know if it was actually my favorite, but it makes me happy and Aaron would move in my belly when it came on the radio.
2017: Aaron was born, so we pretty much exclusively listened to Raffi on Pandora... so my favorite song was silence.
2018: I don't really remember, but I was pretty into Shallow for a minute (Lady Gaga/ Bradley Cooper)
2019: State I'm In and Stay Home Tonight, both acoustic version (both NEEDTOBREATHE)
2020: So far, I'd say it's Show Yourself from the Frozen 2 Soundtrack (Idina Menzel) I am not kidding.

A waterbed, and other wishes from my childhood.

Here's a few things that I wanted as a kid but I was never about to get:

1. A waterbed. What '80s kid didn't want a waterbed?
2. A treehouse. I still want one. I don't still want a waterbed.
3. Two-story play house. I very specifically wanted it to be two stories.
4. And also a two-story house, to live in, with my family. Two story houses were for the ELITE. I thought.
5.  A flying bunkbed. I got in my head when I was 7ish that a flying bunkbed was something that I could have. I called my grandpa and asked him if he could build me a bunkbed, because I wanted to have a flying bunkbed. He said, "but Kelli, you know beds don't fly?" and I said, "Grandpa, if you could just make the bunkbed, I'll work on making it fly." I was dead serious. He didn't make me the bunkbed though, for obvious reasons to people older than 7.
6. Just a regular bunkbed. Although, I DID finally get one of those in college. And then I didn't want it anymore.
(Why is this list only about houses and beds?)

How much money would you pay to eat food you're allergic to and not have a reaction?

My friend Dave asked me this question the other day (the months ago kind of other day) and I said I'd probably pay $200 per month to be able to have all the dairy I want without a terrible stomachache. I usually describe my relationship to cheese as an unrequited love. I love it, it doesn't love me back. If I were able to have all the dairy I'd want for $200 a month, I'd also have to budget about $50 a month for new pants? I would obviously want to eat as much dairy as possible in order to get $200 worth, but also dairy isn't like slimming. Pizza, ice cream, nachos, quesadillas, real butter aren't exactly at the bottom of the food pyramid (although all the carbs are, so probably just throw that example out) and those are definitely the foods that I would eat. I'd also have to budget more for groceries to cover the costs for 3 people to consume dairy products in our house, instead of just 2. Jesse was in earshot of this conversation and he was very offended at the idea. He was not offended at me paying $200 to consume dairy products, he was offended at the idea that I would ALSO be consuming dairy products in our home. He would need to scoop ice cream into a bowl, instead of directly from the carton, and that was just TOO MUCH to consider in this very hypothetic scenario. And also, pizza. We have a good system worked out with pizza.

I wouldn't pay more than $10 a month for eggs. They're okay. Not the best. I can live without them. If I were going out to breakfast, maybe I'd pay a one time charge to have an omelette or something. I've never even had an omelette because I learned about them after I learned I was allergic. They look good. I'd eat one. I'd pay some money to eat one. I would not pay for a day long stomach ache for one though. That's too much.

How much money would YOU pay?

Ornavors and Winter Air Con Mighty

We listen to the Frozen soundtrack just about every day. When we aren't listening to the Frozen soundtrack, we are listening to the Frozen TWO soundtrack (and also, occasionally the Moana one). Aaron's fav song is "Frozen Heart"- it's the intro song when all the men are cutting ice blocks. Jesse made him a pretend ax (obviously it's pretend) out of two small pieces of wood so that he (Aaron) (also obviously) can pretend to chop stuff to the beat of the song, just like those "cutting guys."

He also has no idea what some of the words of the song are.

I'll pair his version next to the actual version, because it makes me so happy:

Aaron's           

Ornavors and Winter Air Con Mighty

Actual

Born of cold and winter air

And mountain rain combining

Aaron's

This icy force bof foul and fair

frozen heart co-mighty

Actual

This icy force both foul and fair

Has a frozen heart worth mining

skipping a bit....

Aaron's

Beautiful! Powerful! Dangerous! Ho! (DO NOT TELL HIM THIS WORD IS ACTUALLY SUPPOSED TO BE COLD. IT IS NOT. IT IS HO. HE IS SURE.)

Actual

Beautiful! Powerful! Dangerous! Cold! 

Aaron's

Ice has a magic, (mumbling) controlled

Stronger than Sven.

Stronger than a hundred men! Cut!

Actual

Ice has a magic, can't be controlled

Stronger than one, stronger than ten

Stronger than a hundred men! Ho!

It's really not that far off, but the Sven part kills me. And also, ornavors. I tried to correct him on the con- mighty parts but he just said he didn't know what mining was, so he'll just say mighty instead. Fair enough, kid.

well, hey.

I thought I wasn't going to do this blog again and I also thought I wasn't going to do this blog last year or the year before. I keep thinking of random things that I could write about and I figure that's a sign. It's a sign that I should do this blog or a sign that I have a lot of random thoughts in my head. Either way, this Lenten blog makes me watch less tv and mindlessly scroll the internet a lot less, which are always goals for me. I also like the creativity and that some people read this, so I have to practice being vulnerable, and that's good (I still have no intentions to improve my grammar).

Here are some potential titles of posts:

1. Insomnia Articles
2. A Bottle of Care
3. Moody Fall Out Boy Away Messages
4. Fav Songs For All The Years
5. Don't Go, Jason Waterfall.
6. Ornavors and Winter Air Con Mighty
7. Words I've Used Wrong
8. Very Specific Pet Peeves
9. David Real
10. Anger & Sadness
11. New Planner
12. Sleep Number
13. Narcissm Test
14. How much money would you pay to eat food you're allergic to and not have a reaction?
15. Vulnerability List
16. Listening
17. I DO care what you think.
18. Almost Remembering
19. Only Talk to Me
20. Deep Thoughts About Frozen 1
21. Deep Thoughts About Frozen 2
22. Milky Pens & Middle School Trends
23. Grandma's Song
24. When I was Left Eye
25. I've Already Had All The Colds That Exist
26. Celebrities I've Seen
27. Face Twitch
28. Unlimited Whys
29. 5 Mins in My Brain
30. I Thought of This New Funny Idea Again
31. Bible Jokes/ One time I used to be actually funny
32. Storytelling & Music
33. Things I Love About My Church
34. Songs I Hate
35. A waterbed, and other wishes from my childhood.
36. If you were a chip, what chip would you be? and other get to know you questions that I'm about to make up.
37. Short Story
38. Lyrics
39. Who was mean first?
40. Key Changes in Disney Songs

5 Minute Blog

I told Jesse I would write this blog post for 5 minutes. I set a timer. Jesse wants to go to bed soon, which is a good goal. I have everything that I want to do when I get home, which sometimes takes a long time. Shower-talk about our days-this blog-play massages-HGTV-talk some more. Every night we play massages where we literally set the timer for 10 mins and rub each other's shoulders. It's gotten so routine that my back starts hurting extra around 10pm.

The timer just beeped, but I think I'll write a couple more minutes until Jesse turns around to tell me that he noticed the timer went off. I do that sometimes. He's really good at time management, and I sort of walk this line of taking more time but not too much that my husband gets very annoyed... just a little annoyed.

We're at the massages part of our bedtime routine, so see ya.   

Tell me all your thoughts on God.

I'll tell you a few things because this is a short blog:

1. We belong to each other. That sounds like more of a thought on people, but it's also about God for me. Every person that exists is a beloved child of God, and therefore also has value, the same value as everybody else, to God. And when I think about the world, I generally think as a whole we are pretty terrible about believing that every person is beloved and has the same value and worth. Maybe because we forget that we belong to each other, and that we're all fellow humans meant to care about each other? (SOMETIMES though, we do offer grace and love to people and that is beautiful and inspiring.)
2. Everything doesn't happen for a reason. My least fav "Christian" phrase is "everything happens for a reason." I wrote a whole blog post about it a year or two ago if you want to read a long reflection about that. Mostly, I think some things do. People in my life often feel like this gift that wasn't an accident, certain possibilities seem like the work of the divine, and I thank God for near misses. Overall though, I don't think God has everything all planned out. If God does, then I have a lot of questions about suffering and loss. I tend to think that God grieves with us when we grieve, and isn't the one doling out heartache for the sake of some new opportunity or lesson. 
3. God makes life out of death. Lots of the hills burned up in my hometown this fall. Everything was black and dead. My friends and fam have been telling me lately that the hills are covered in flowers and are green, and you'd never know that they had been burned. Life out of death is part of nature. It's also this thing I've experienced in my life, where I've been able to hold joy at the same time as despair, and to me, that's God bringing life out of death. When my bff died, I also found support in community, friends that were estranged came back together to love each other and grieve together, gratitude for a friend I got to know and love (and know I really mattered to), and also this sense deep in my gut that there is life beyond death and we'll see each other again. To me, that hope is life. Also, Jesus.      
4. Beautiful things come from God. You know, like sunsets and oceans and music and math and  kids' wonder.
5. God is more loving, more compassionate, more merciful than me and you.   

Funny Things Aaron Says

Pretty much everything Aaron says is funny. Here's a few things I can think of right now:

Third Person:
"Aaron going on the slide." "Aaron running." "Aaron laughin'."

Me & You:
He gets pretty confused about who is "me" and who is "you." It does seem confusing since I call him "you," so he mostly says "you" when he's talking about himself. Like, "momma, sit by you?" which means, "Momma, will you sit by me?" Sometimes he says, "I love you" and I'm not sure if he's talking to me or not.

Pretend (or, "pee-tend"):
He wrapped himself in a blanket the other day and said, "I a princess" and then twirled. Later he put a plastic basket on his head and said, "I be a astronaut." He also told me he was a "builder-guy" and a "worker-man."

Playing Church:
Aaron, while running to the front of the church during worship: "Be Pastor Aaron. Sing in the microphone!"

When he's yelling too loud:
Me or Jesse: Aaron, shhhh. Use your inside voice.
Aaron: Daddy's sleeping.

Questions about Autumn:
"I run with Autumn?" and then he runs, whether or not Autumn notices.
"Hit Autumn with hammer?" (just to be clear, the answer is definitely not)
"Give food a Autumn?"

Saying something that Aaron also said:
"Aaron say it!" (aka, I'm the only one that gets to say that, don't say it too)

You know what, he says a lot of funny stuff, and most of it's funnier stuff than this, and I should write it down, because I can hardly remember any of it.

Things my parents taught me

I could write a book about the stuff my parents have taught me, but here are a few of the helpful highlights:

• You can't always get what you want. (The Rolling Stones made a significant contribution to this learning)
• Tell the truth, you'll get in less trouble if you're honest about whatever thing you did that you shouldn't have.
• When you trust God and give money/time away to others, you'll have enough.
• You can be whatever you want to be.
• Do stuff, do new stuff, have lots of adventures (the more random the better).
• Family= numero uno
• Going for walks is really fun and you should do it every day.
• Tell the people you love that you love them. Often. And then hug them a bunch.
• It's perfectly acceptable to fall asleep on the couch at 8pm
• Work hard.
• That hot sauce can be put on any food. ANY food.
• God stories before bed
• If you don't clean your car, you're never going to get a husband. I'm sure it was my clean car that won Jesse's heart. It could be though, he IS the clean one.