Thursday, April 3, 2025

A different person.

23 years ago today one of my best friends in the world died. He was the very best. Full of life, joy, faith, and he was like cool and like this brother I didn't know I really wanted to have.

If I could go back in time and somehow prevent him from dying, I would, every time. 

I also don't think I would recognize myself today if he hadn't died. I'm a different person because of the way this tragedy and loss touched me as a high schooler.

I don’t know what to do with that, but I think about it all the time. 

(To be clear, I'm not at all an "everything happens for a reason" person. Especially because of loss. Just in case you thought I was inferring it, I wasn't.) 



Tuesday, April 1, 2025

Apples, peanuts, and crafts at Grandma's house

My grandma did daycare for us for my whole childhood. We'd come over in the morning still in our jammies and would leave right before dinner. I spent a lot of time with my grandma.

There's a bunch of things I could say about how fun and special that was, but today I want to talk about crafts. 

She made some fun crafts.

We'd make our own paper dolls, or draw pictures of ourselves and glue yarn on for big hair, or we'd trace ourselves on big butcher paper and draw in our face and clothes.  

We took paper doilies and made fancy valentine's for the people we liked extra. 

We made paper chains to countdown for Christmas, while listening to the Gene Autry Christmas cassette and eating chips and cheese and drinking hot chocolate.

I remember cutting an apple in half and it made that star in the middle and then we'd paint it and stamp them on paper. Maybe we only did that once, but I remember it was pretty special.

She also would show us how if you opened up the peanut shell, you'd see Abraham Lincoln. It's true. Ish. That's actually less of a craft and more related to foods making cool shapes, but you can see how my brain thought it made sense to include here. 

When I was older I kept doing crafts at grandma's house. Like every day. I'd sit in the guest room at the big craft table watching Nickelodeon and drawing things or painting things. One time my cousin Alexis and I took our developing skills and became young entrepreneurs: we made sets of stationary (which was basically sets of paper that we took from a drawer) and puzzles we designed out of paper, and then sold them to my grandma and great-grandma for a dollar. We made $1 each that day. They told us after the second time that they weren't going to keep buying things from us at those prices.

I love my grandma and she helped me be way more creative.  


Lutheran Amen

A lot of Lutherans can be a lil reserved and stoic and don't like to be all showy in their approval and when they're moved. If you find yourself in a crowd of a bunch of Lutherans that have just heard something particularly profound, instead of a bunch of loud "amens" (though every now and then I hear someone try one out) what you'll hear is a "hmmm." 

It can be translated to: 
  • that was a good point
  • that was deep
  • I hadn't thought of it that way
  • yes, thank you
  • interesting (but actually, not a Minnesotan interesting)
Basically, amen. 

If you ever get that response from a room of Lutherans, you really moved them. Just so you know, because you probably wouldn't know.